Writing: 5 steps toward constructing a better sentence

But if one understands that a sentence is a structure of logical relationships and that the number of relationships involved is finite, one understands too that there is only one error to worry about, the error of being illogical, and only one rule to follow: make sure that every component of your sentences is related to the other components in a way that is clear and unambiguous (unless ambiguity is what you are aiming at).   Stanley Fish, How to Write a Sentence, and How to Read One

One may argue that words are the building blocks of all writing, and that any writing program aimed at helping you produce a two page NSF Pre-Doc proposal in two months might well begin with a discussion of vocabulary. But by now you have most of the words you will ever need to convey even the most complex idea. To write well, the words are all there, you just have to get them in the right order.

In a lovely book celebrating the construction and reading of sentences, Stanley Fish lays out the notion that good sentences are paragons of tight, unassailable logic. Like great music, as Leonard Bernstein once observed, good sentences have a sense of inevitability to them–you cannot imagine  it written any other way.

When you write a good sentence you are literally creating reality in the heads of your reader. Again, in Fish’s words…

Language is not a handmaiden to perception; it is perception; it gives shape to what would otherwise be inert and dead.

In the construction of a sentence you find yourself grappling with two monumental tasks for any creative person: discovering what is it you mean, and crafting words to convey that meaning. We will talk about the former some other day, now a few ways to improve upon the latter.

1. Ask yourself, is there a simpler way to say this?  Simple often means short. Replace long words with shorter words  (“use” for “utilize”, “use” for “utilization”). Make a game of shortening a sentence just up to the point where you risk being vague.
2. Write with muscle. Action verbs give life to sentences, especially scientific prose where “is’s” and “was’s” proliferate like boring weeds.
3. Pay attention to the writing, not just the message, when you read. What sentences are clear and what sentences are not? Ask yourself “Why is this sentence not clear?”. Don’t always blame yourself. A lot of bad writing escapes the editor’s notice. A lot of editors, frankly, are pretty bad writers.
4. Read widely. While it is possible to find good science writing by scientists, it is not, let us say, the most efficient way to hone your own craft. Check out the Reading Lists in the menu bar for examples of popular writers who you would do well to emulate. Magazines like The New Yorker, The Atlantic, or Sports Illustrated are justifiably proud of their writing staff.
5. Take pride in your every day writing. Everything you write is practice toward becoming a better writer. Every email, facebook entry, and twitter is an opportunity to impress an audience with your clarity and panache. And, frankly, since every virtual scribble in the public sphere is being catalogued forever by at least three different pan global agencies, making sure your tweets are well written is the equivalent of always making sure you leave the house wearing clean underwear. You just never know.

Pay particular attention to the quality of writing in your science reading this week. Share with the GTDA community a a particularly  atrocious piece of writing, and then supply your rewrite. It is not necessary to list the perpetrator (I mean, c’mon, cut, paste into Google scholar, how hard can that be for the curious?).  Just supply a “before” and “after”. Then use the drop down menu at the right labeled “select category” and peruse previous posts on “writing”.